As I've mentioned previously, we are members of a group called New Family Social and each year they host a Summer Camp specifically for LGBTQ+ adopters - this includes prospective adopters, foster carers and anyone who has a connection with looked after children who considers themselves non straight. Basically, it's really niche and inclusive at … Continue reading 23. Camp as a row of tents
It turned out that those boys weren't meant to be our children. 'Another match is being explored' is how it was termed by the family finders. We were very disappointed, but got the sense that this was just the beginning in a long line of heartache and upset. I've been fascinated to see the huge … Continue reading 22. “link maker, link maker, find me a match…”
Well what a week that was, approved and engaged, messages of love and goodwill from all over - it was all very emosh and overwhelming, in a good way, like an all you can eat buffet, when you take it that plate too far... Now we're approved, the matching process begins, and I think it … Continue reading 21. Baby Tinder
....just became my favourite date. We used public transport to get to Reading, pre-empting celebratory or commiseration drinks. We'd already discussed questions we expected the Panel to ask and used this time to run through suitable responses. We arrived with enough time for me to buy a pastry and spill a coffee. It would appear … Continue reading 20. 10th July 2019
A week or so ago we received the draft of our PAR - Prospective Adopters Report - which is essentially a bizarre biography, written by a Social Worker, who doesn't really know us. It also includes pieces written by Cara and I and submitted as 'homework', which have been newly transcribed in third person. It's … Continue reading 19. Wrap me in tinfoil and call me Henry*
After being pronounced sane (laughs manically and strokes cat), we finally signed our Stage 2 Agreement at the end of April, with Home Study Visits scheduled for the first week in May. After being held in stasis for so long, we were amazed to have ALL OF OUR HOME STUDY VISITS IN A WEEK. The first … Continue reading 18. Not a biscuit in sight.
In April we left adoption bizzle behind and went to visit one of the wonderfullest people we know. Ellie, who is also one of our referees, is living in Jordan so we thought we'd take advantage of her hospitality and check out life in the Middle East. Jordan stands at the intersection of the three … Continue reading 17. Oh Man, Amman.
March saw us hit a red-bricked-bureaucratic wall. Trump-like in size and dictatorial nature, an immovable and nonsensical bullshit barrier, seemingly designed to prevent capable, well meaning people from adopting traumatised children. Hang on a second whilst I clamber down from my pedestal and take a deep breath. Actually, now we're tentatively moving forward and the … Continue reading 16. Two months and a trip to Hemel later…
January should have seen all of our home study meetings take place. We dutifully completed our 'homework' and submitted prior to our first scheduled meeting with N. This essentially comprised of information supplied on multiple occasions previously, interspersed with little gems such as: 'describe your childhood in three words' and 'your saddest memory of school' … Continue reading 15. Stationary traffic
That's how I feel around this time of year: Christmas, New Year, Birthday - boom! We've read a lot about how adoptive children struggle with the festive season. For traumatised children, the bang of crackers, nighttime 'visits from Santa', drinking alcohol and unexpected guests can prove overwhelming, not to mention terrifying. Emotions are often heightened … Continue reading 14. pow Pow POW